ADDICTED TO THIS SHIT

*thinks about responsibilities* 
*shrugs* 
*masturbates*

(Source: basedgosh, via gardevoirs-in-space)

me:

im so tired, i could collapse into bed and sleep for a year..

me:

gets in bed

me:

how was earth created

me:

who made microwaves

me:

how does the internet even work

me:

i'm hungry

me:

feels bad about something i did 4 years ago

me:

remembers 73 unfinished tasks

me:

too tired to sleep

tastefullyoffensive:

[keeponkeepinoff]

dumbkili:

I went on a journey of self discovery today

(via wouldyoukindlykissmyfist)

leaveyourkeyinthemailb0x:

see that girl you just called a lesbian? is she? can you help me get her number?

(via wouldyoukindlykissmyfist)

wizcoylifa:

dear coca cola company,

i drank some of your POWERADE drink and im still weak as fuck when will the power begin to kick in? please reply soon, i just sent a mass text to my entire school saying i would beat up the football team this friday

(Source: falcnpunch, via loserpoet)

revolucianado:

revolucianado:

tryin to clean my house and listen to Beyonce at the same time

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I didn’t almost break my neck for 4 notes you fuckers

(via wouldyoukindlykissmyfist)

taco-bell-rey:

glennoconnell:

Frozen 2

she can’t hold it back anymore

(via gardevoirs-in-space)

How is google gonna come out with eyewear and not call it googly eyes

(Source: seaof7billion, via gardevoirs-in-space)

rnalevolent:

ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened

(Source: perpetualtorture, via expectoreflekto)

renfamous:

British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”

(via gardevoirs-in-space)

heyitspj:

*12 year old voice* i know who you like

(Source: kaname-madoka, via leopard-cub)